True Confessions

The other day I was driving home with my sister, Kayla, who is the most up-to-date person in most entertainment and pop culture news that I know. On this particular drive, she had brought along her own CD's, because, of course, mine are sub-par. Hers are usually mixes of the latest hits. But the backstory is this: whenever I listen to any of her CD's, 90 percent of the time I will say, "Oh, who's this? What's this song called?" She will then proceed to reprimand me for not knowing the latest hits. I try to explain that a) when you're in college, you're in a bubble and b) the last time I watched TRL was, um, never.

On this particular CD, she flipped from track to track, and I recongized a few artists (okay, just Ashlee Simpson). Most songs, per usual, I failed to name.

And then, it happened.

A song came on that I didn't recognize, but it had a decent beat.

"This isn't bad," I said. And then she laughed.

"It's Paris Hilton's new song," she said. And then I screamed.

Yes, I had just listened to a song by Paris Hilton. The girl speaks like a mumbling space cadet--how had she recorded an actual song? With words? I had heard rumors of her new CD but I figured it would crash and burn. Yes, it's bad enough that she actually made a CD, but worse--I had listened to her song...and actually quasi-enjoyed it.