Last week I got lost.
If you know me at all, that should come as no shock or surprise. I had a scheduled meeting at 9:00 in the morning in another county from mine; the night before I found the directions on Yahoo Maps (which has rarely steered me wrong before). I left with plenty of time to spare. I allowed myself an extra solid 45 minutes just in case.
Now let it be known that I only have a map of my county. But this meeting was in another one. That was probably my first mistake.
I arrived in the correct city about 45 minutes before my meeting. I made great time, which probably should have been a red flag. And then somewhere, somehow, it all went wrong. I got severely lost. But it wasn't one of those cases where you find yourself four towns and five highways over. I was only one or two streets away and for the life of me, I couldn't find the building. I drove in circles. I called the building - twice - and received two sets of directions. I pulled over - twice - and asked for directions. I swore a lot.
Finally, finally, I found the building. To my credit, I don't think the street was properly marked and there was one wrong turn on the directions (I know, excuses, excuses). But I was late, even with my extra 45 minute cushion.
So screw you, Yahoo.
But here's the best (or worse) part: At one point, I was on a street called Blue Ball Boulevard and when I called to ask for directions, I had to name my exact location.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Cheers and Jeers 3
Cheers
- This wonderful autumn weather that just arrived in Maryland this week. It makes me want to wear my clogs to a football game and drink hot apple cider.
- The new TV season: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Justice, Grey's, House, The Office. Also worth mentioning is Dancing With the Stars. Yes, I'm watching it. I don't have homework anymore so I have this thing called free time, and if I choose to watch reality television with it, that's my problem and not yours.
- Big Papi's record-breaking.
- "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. A very powerful book and solid read.
- Butternut squash and pumpkin soup. Amaaaazing. I had seconds.
- John Stewart and The Rock. I have no specific reasons. They're just cool.
Jeers
- Getting lost. Entry to come.
- Reggie Bush. Did everyone suddenly forget his little money problem or something?
- People who pull out quickly into your lane but then go 10 mph. I don't like you people.
- This wonderful autumn weather that just arrived in Maryland this week. It makes me want to wear my clogs to a football game and drink hot apple cider.
- The new TV season: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Justice, Grey's, House, The Office. Also worth mentioning is Dancing With the Stars. Yes, I'm watching it. I don't have homework anymore so I have this thing called free time, and if I choose to watch reality television with it, that's my problem and not yours.
- Big Papi's record-breaking.
- "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. A very powerful book and solid read.
- Butternut squash and pumpkin soup. Amaaaazing. I had seconds.
- John Stewart and The Rock. I have no specific reasons. They're just cool.
Jeers
- Getting lost. Entry to come.
- Reggie Bush. Did everyone suddenly forget his little money problem or something?
- People who pull out quickly into your lane but then go 10 mph. I don't like you people.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
September baseball: O's vs. NY
Today I went to the Oriole's vs. Yankees game at Camden Yards. Here's a running diary of the events (and chaos) that ensued.
3:11: We pick up the Yankee fan from college and we're on our way. Remember, she's the one who is most likely adopted because she roots for NY.
3:40: We take a wrong turn in downtown Baltimore and end up heading out of the city. Nothing says family adventure like getting lost.
4:15: Some idiot (most likely a Yankee fan) yells "Boston sucks!" out his window at me as we're walking toward the park. I try and see where the car parks so I can slash the tires later, but I lose sight of it.
4:35: Adam Loewen (now 5-5, 5.32 ERA) starts it off for Baltimore. I'm loving our seats right along the first base line in prime foul ball territory. I'm just terrified that a foul ball will actually come my way and send me to the hospital.
4:43: Derek Jeter doubles down the right field line with two outs. The crowd erupts. No, really, they take a nutty. Are we in New York?
5:00: The O's turn a sweet doubleplay to the end the inning. One of those definitely-has-a-possibility-of-being-on-Sportscenter doubleplays.
5:15: With Johnny Damon up at bat, the guy next to my mother jokes, "Is that Judus?" I feel like a moron and have no idea who he's talking about. I admit, I didn't always pay attention in Sunday school. My mother informs me that Judus was someone who betrayed Jesus. Okay, I get the joke now. Sidenote: My mother and I then decide that The Jokster is definitely on a first date with the woman next to him. Here's why: 1) The woman is sitting with arms crossed, hugging her purse. Definitely not positive body language. She doesnt even look like she wants to be here. 2) Her pants are rolled up. Which means that she wasn't really properly dressed for a baseball game. 3) The jokster is talking more to the people around him than her. 4) It's one of those obvious awkward situations. You can just tell. I wonder how they met.
5:17: It's time for the animated hot dog race on the big screen. Yes, I'm rooting for an animated hotdog as it jumps around the bases. I pick the relish, Mom and Yankee Fan pick the mustard. Of course, ketchup wins.
5:20: Bottom of the third. No score. My sister notices Derek Jeter adjusting himself. "Where?" I ask. "Where do you think?" she replies.
5:29: Derek hits a foul ball four rows in front of us. I'm in the middle of shelling a peanut, and instead of jumping up like everyone else around me, I grab my bag of peanuts and hunker down.
5:55: Awkward Jokster buys him and date a beer. As we pass along the beer and money to and from the vendor, jokster says to us, "I feel like I should be buying you guys a beer." I think, Okay, but it had better not be that Bud Light you're drinking. Do you see what dating a beer snob has done to me?
6:02: Top of the fifth, one out. Johnny "Judus" Damon singles in a run with a check swing. Score: New York 1, Oriole's 0.
6:05: The Old Bay Crab Shuffle. There are three animated crabs on the big screen. One has a baseball. They shuffle around on the beach, criss-crossing each other and turning upside down. In the end, which crab has the ball? Yes, I'm amused by this. And I know it's geared toward five-year-olds.
6:15: At the end of the 6th, New York and Baltimore have five hits a piece. The Yankees are on top 2-0, thanks to Johnny's single and a Melky Cabrera sac fly in the fifth.
6:30: The seventh inning stretch. The highlight of the evening: when the Oriole's mascot jumps up onto the O's dugout and while shaking his tailfeather (ha, bad joke), wipes his armpits with a Yankee hat he stole from the crowd. If he did that at Fenway he would be hoisted up on shoulders and showered with Sam Adams.
6:32: Out of the 45,827 people in attendance, my sisters spots Derek Jeter's parents in the crowd. Of course she would.
6:35: Brandon Fahey knocks in Kevin Millar to put the O's on the board. Finally.
6:40: Rodrigo Lopez comes in to start the bottom of the eighth for the Oriole's. Ohh, great. This game isn't going to end well for Baltimore. Batting practice, anyone?
6:50: Derek Jeter (who else) rips a RBI single down the right field line, scoring Damon. The crowd freaks out and starts chanting "MVP!" I feel like vomiting into my peanut bag. Score: New York 3, O's 1.
7:02: Wang leaves the game to a standing ovation. Me: "What was his name again? Wang?" Mom: "I think it's pronounced Wong." I know several guys who would have laughed at that.
7:23: Millar homers to left. The O's are down by one.
7:27: "Nice hats," a guy says to me and Mom as we leave the park. He's a Boston fan, too. He understands. He's one of us. And he kind of looks like Kenny Chesney.
Final score: New York 3, Baltimore 2.
3:11: We pick up the Yankee fan from college and we're on our way. Remember, she's the one who is most likely adopted because she roots for NY.
3:40: We take a wrong turn in downtown Baltimore and end up heading out of the city. Nothing says family adventure like getting lost.
4:15: Some idiot (most likely a Yankee fan) yells "Boston sucks!" out his window at me as we're walking toward the park. I try and see where the car parks so I can slash the tires later, but I lose sight of it.
4:35: Adam Loewen (now 5-5, 5.32 ERA) starts it off for Baltimore. I'm loving our seats right along the first base line in prime foul ball territory. I'm just terrified that a foul ball will actually come my way and send me to the hospital.
4:43: Derek Jeter doubles down the right field line with two outs. The crowd erupts. No, really, they take a nutty. Are we in New York?
5:00: The O's turn a sweet doubleplay to the end the inning. One of those definitely-has-a-possibility-of-being-on-Sportscenter doubleplays.
5:15: With Johnny Damon up at bat, the guy next to my mother jokes, "Is that Judus?" I feel like a moron and have no idea who he's talking about. I admit, I didn't always pay attention in Sunday school. My mother informs me that Judus was someone who betrayed Jesus. Okay, I get the joke now. Sidenote: My mother and I then decide that The Jokster is definitely on a first date with the woman next to him. Here's why: 1) The woman is sitting with arms crossed, hugging her purse. Definitely not positive body language. She doesnt even look like she wants to be here. 2) Her pants are rolled up. Which means that she wasn't really properly dressed for a baseball game. 3) The jokster is talking more to the people around him than her. 4) It's one of those obvious awkward situations. You can just tell. I wonder how they met.
5:17: It's time for the animated hot dog race on the big screen. Yes, I'm rooting for an animated hotdog as it jumps around the bases. I pick the relish, Mom and Yankee Fan pick the mustard. Of course, ketchup wins.
5:20: Bottom of the third. No score. My sister notices Derek Jeter adjusting himself. "Where?" I ask. "Where do you think?" she replies.
5:29: Derek hits a foul ball four rows in front of us. I'm in the middle of shelling a peanut, and instead of jumping up like everyone else around me, I grab my bag of peanuts and hunker down.
5:55: Awkward Jokster buys him and date a beer. As we pass along the beer and money to and from the vendor, jokster says to us, "I feel like I should be buying you guys a beer." I think, Okay, but it had better not be that Bud Light you're drinking. Do you see what dating a beer snob has done to me?
6:02: Top of the fifth, one out. Johnny "Judus" Damon singles in a run with a check swing. Score: New York 1, Oriole's 0.
6:05: The Old Bay Crab Shuffle. There are three animated crabs on the big screen. One has a baseball. They shuffle around on the beach, criss-crossing each other and turning upside down. In the end, which crab has the ball? Yes, I'm amused by this. And I know it's geared toward five-year-olds.
6:15: At the end of the 6th, New York and Baltimore have five hits a piece. The Yankees are on top 2-0, thanks to Johnny's single and a Melky Cabrera sac fly in the fifth.
6:30: The seventh inning stretch. The highlight of the evening: when the Oriole's mascot jumps up onto the O's dugout and while shaking his tailfeather (ha, bad joke), wipes his armpits with a Yankee hat he stole from the crowd. If he did that at Fenway he would be hoisted up on shoulders and showered with Sam Adams.
6:32: Out of the 45,827 people in attendance, my sisters spots Derek Jeter's parents in the crowd. Of course she would.
6:35: Brandon Fahey knocks in Kevin Millar to put the O's on the board. Finally.
6:40: Rodrigo Lopez comes in to start the bottom of the eighth for the Oriole's. Ohh, great. This game isn't going to end well for Baltimore. Batting practice, anyone?
6:50: Derek Jeter (who else) rips a RBI single down the right field line, scoring Damon. The crowd freaks out and starts chanting "MVP!" I feel like vomiting into my peanut bag. Score: New York 3, O's 1.
7:02: Wang leaves the game to a standing ovation. Me: "What was his name again? Wang?" Mom: "I think it's pronounced Wong." I know several guys who would have laughed at that.
7:23: Millar homers to left. The O's are down by one.
7:27: "Nice hats," a guy says to me and Mom as we leave the park. He's a Boston fan, too. He understands. He's one of us. And he kind of looks like Kenny Chesney.
Final score: New York 3, Baltimore 2.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
An unofficial wrap-up of my favorite summer books
Here is a list of the most enjoyable books I read this summer (in no particular order). You can thank me later with chocolates, flowers, and Patriots tickets.
1. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Why it worked: The unusual perspective. The novel is told through the eyes of a murdered teenager. If that doesn't intrigue you, you're boring. Final word: It's a book-club classic, but well worth it. I couldn't put it down. Literally. It came with me to work, dinner...
2. Now I Can Die in Peace by Bill Simmons. Why it worked: The combination of humorous writing, pop culture, and the rollercoaster ride that is the Red Sox. I laughed, I cried...but mostly it worked because I could commiserate with the guy. He's a Sox fan - he understands. Final word: A nice read, especially if you appreciate quality sports writing.
3. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Why it worked: Beautiful writing. I'll be honest here: I'd heard the hype about this one, but I wasn't that interested. When I finally picked it up, I couldn't put it down. I'm a fan of Monk's writing style (in this particular book. I just finished her latest, "The Mermaid Chair," and I wasn't a fan). Final word: Read it. And then you'll crave honey.
4. Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs. Why it worked: His story topics range from lesbian personal ads to advertising campaigns for Junior Mints to his obession with college t-shirts. He's hilarious and one of my favorite authors. Final word: As if you needed one.
5. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Why it worked: The guy knows how to write a page-turner. Final word: It's better than The Da Vinci Code (hasn't everyone said that?)
6. Come Love a Stranger by Kathleen Woodiwiss. Why it worked: It's a historical romance (and one of my guilty pleasures every once in awhile), so if you're in need of a good love story, Woodiwiss is usually a good option. Final word: A good read with amusing descriptions and phrasing (such as "the hot blood shot through his loins and thudded through him, cauterizing his mind with his ravaging needs." Seriously, I cannot make this stuff up. It's on page 186).
1. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold. Why it worked: The unusual perspective. The novel is told through the eyes of a murdered teenager. If that doesn't intrigue you, you're boring. Final word: It's a book-club classic, but well worth it. I couldn't put it down. Literally. It came with me to work, dinner...
2. Now I Can Die in Peace by Bill Simmons. Why it worked: The combination of humorous writing, pop culture, and the rollercoaster ride that is the Red Sox. I laughed, I cried...but mostly it worked because I could commiserate with the guy. He's a Sox fan - he understands. Final word: A nice read, especially if you appreciate quality sports writing.
3. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd. Why it worked: Beautiful writing. I'll be honest here: I'd heard the hype about this one, but I wasn't that interested. When I finally picked it up, I couldn't put it down. I'm a fan of Monk's writing style (in this particular book. I just finished her latest, "The Mermaid Chair," and I wasn't a fan). Final word: Read it. And then you'll crave honey.
4. Possible Side Effects by Augusten Burroughs. Why it worked: His story topics range from lesbian personal ads to advertising campaigns for Junior Mints to his obession with college t-shirts. He's hilarious and one of my favorite authors. Final word: As if you needed one.
5. Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Why it worked: The guy knows how to write a page-turner. Final word: It's better than The Da Vinci Code (hasn't everyone said that?)
6. Come Love a Stranger by Kathleen Woodiwiss. Why it worked: It's a historical romance (and one of my guilty pleasures every once in awhile), so if you're in need of a good love story, Woodiwiss is usually a good option. Final word: A good read with amusing descriptions and phrasing (such as "the hot blood shot through his loins and thudded through him, cauterizing his mind with his ravaging needs." Seriously, I cannot make this stuff up. It's on page 186).
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)