September baseball: O's vs. NY

Today I went to the Oriole's vs. Yankees game at Camden Yards. Here's a running diary of the events (and chaos) that ensued.

3:11: We pick up the Yankee fan from college and we're on our way. Remember, she's the one who is most likely adopted because she roots for NY.

3:40: We take a wrong turn in downtown Baltimore and end up heading out of the city. Nothing says family adventure like getting lost.

4:15: Some idiot (most likely a Yankee fan) yells "Boston sucks!" out his window at me as we're walking toward the park. I try and see where the car parks so I can slash the tires later, but I lose sight of it.

4:35: Adam Loewen (now 5-5, 5.32 ERA) starts it off for Baltimore. I'm loving our seats right along the first base line in prime foul ball territory. I'm just terrified that a foul ball will actually come my way and send me to the hospital.

4:43: Derek Jeter doubles down the right field line with two outs. The crowd erupts. No, really, they take a nutty. Are we in New York?

5:00: The O's turn a sweet doubleplay to the end the inning. One of those definitely-has-a-possibility-of-being-on-Sportscenter doubleplays.

5:15: With Johnny Damon up at bat, the guy next to my mother jokes, "Is that Judus?" I feel like a moron and have no idea who he's talking about. I admit, I didn't always pay attention in Sunday school. My mother informs me that Judus was someone who betrayed Jesus. Okay, I get the joke now. Sidenote: My mother and I then decide that The Jokster is definitely on a first date with the woman next to him. Here's why: 1) The woman is sitting with arms crossed, hugging her purse. Definitely not positive body language. She doesnt even look like she wants to be here. 2) Her pants are rolled up. Which means that she wasn't really properly dressed for a baseball game. 3) The jokster is talking more to the people around him than her. 4) It's one of those obvious awkward situations. You can just tell. I wonder how they met.

5:17: It's time for the animated hot dog race on the big screen. Yes, I'm rooting for an animated hotdog as it jumps around the bases. I pick the relish, Mom and Yankee Fan pick the mustard. Of course, ketchup wins.

5:20: Bottom of the third. No score. My sister notices Derek Jeter adjusting himself. "Where?" I ask. "Where do you think?" she replies.

5:29: Derek hits a foul ball four rows in front of us. I'm in the middle of shelling a peanut, and instead of jumping up like everyone else around me, I grab my bag of peanuts and hunker down.

5:55: Awkward Jokster buys him and date a beer. As we pass along the beer and money to and from the vendor, jokster says to us, "I feel like I should be buying you guys a beer." I think, Okay, but it had better not be that Bud Light you're drinking. Do you see what dating a beer snob has done to me?

6:02: Top of the fifth, one out. Johnny "Judus" Damon singles in a run with a check swing. Score: New York 1, Oriole's 0.

6:05: The Old Bay Crab Shuffle. There are three animated crabs on the big screen. One has a baseball. They shuffle around on the beach, criss-crossing each other and turning upside down. In the end, which crab has the ball? Yes, I'm amused by this. And I know it's geared toward five-year-olds.

6:15: At the end of the 6th, New York and Baltimore have five hits a piece. The Yankees are on top 2-0, thanks to Johnny's single and a Melky Cabrera sac fly in the fifth.

6:30: The seventh inning stretch. The highlight of the evening: when the Oriole's mascot jumps up onto the O's dugout and while shaking his tailfeather (ha, bad joke), wipes his armpits with a Yankee hat he stole from the crowd. If he did that at Fenway he would be hoisted up on shoulders and showered with Sam Adams.

6:32: Out of the 45,827 people in attendance, my sisters spots Derek Jeter's parents in the crowd. Of course she would.

6:35: Brandon Fahey knocks in Kevin Millar to put the O's on the board. Finally.

6:40: Rodrigo Lopez comes in to start the bottom of the eighth for the Oriole's. Ohh, great. This game isn't going to end well for Baltimore. Batting practice, anyone?

6:50: Derek Jeter (who else) rips a RBI single down the right field line, scoring Damon. The crowd freaks out and starts chanting "MVP!" I feel like vomiting into my peanut bag. Score: New York 3, O's 1.

7:02: Wang leaves the game to a standing ovation. Me: "What was his name again? Wang?" Mom: "I think it's pronounced Wong." I know several guys who would have laughed at that.

7:23: Millar homers to left. The O's are down by one.

7:27: "Nice hats," a guy says to me and Mom as we leave the park. He's a Boston fan, too. He understands. He's one of us. And he kind of looks like Kenny Chesney.

Final score: New York 3, Baltimore 2.